Tuesday, March 31, 2009

TTT - The Other Side of the Coin

Last week, I listed what I like about our little corner of the world. This week, it is the other side of the coin. Fair and balanced, right?

Ten Things That Bug Me About Our Little Corner of the World –

1. Drivers -

The drivers here really leave us shaking our heads. They drive like they are trying to set land speed records at Bonneville Salt Flats – interstates, highways, surface streets all are race tracks for them. Then there are the slow drivers who plod along in the LEFT lane and won’t move over come hell or high water. Mommies and Daddies speed along, yakking on cell phones, and either yelling at or ignoring the seething mass of unrestrained children careening around in their over-sized SUVs. Mommy and Daddy don’t bother with seat belts either – infringes on their personal rights. The local media are filled with sob stories about people thrown from their vehicles during accidents and killed or severely injured – a fund has been established at a nearby bank for donations to the family. Not from me. PUT ON THE DAMN BELT!

2. Children –They have lots of kids per family – it seems to be a requirement here. But do they have to take them EVERYWHERE? Children do not belong in the bar areas of restaurants (more on that in #3). Nor should they attend evening adult-type concerts or R movies – I don’t care if they are with their parents. All too often, their loving parents are too busy visiting with each other and friends to exert any control over them. Heaven help us if the mob from one family joins forces with other roving mobs. Aren’t they all “just darling” and “too cute”?

3. Liquor Laws –

The laws regarding the purchase and/or consumption of alcoholic beverages in this state are too insane to be believed. Should children happen to spy a drink being mixed and poured at the bar of a restaurant (see #2), they could be warped for life. So, restaurants are required to erect an expensive visual barrier around the mixing/pouring operations to prevent this from happening. Bottles of liquor and wine can ONLY be purchased at state owned stores – which charge 3 times the market price and add on punitive taxes to boot (but it “helps fund schools”). Some changes have just been recently enacted by the legislature, but I’m not sure if they are an improvement or not. There’s more, but I still don’t understand all the liquor laws; and I’m sure the esteemed legislators have no clue either.

4. Huge houses –

This is truly the land of McMansions (to shelter all those children). Enormous houses on small lots, frequently under furnished. And recently, over-leveraged and risking foreclosure, if not already there. The heating and cooling bills on our modest abode are bad enough; what must they run for those behemoths?

5. Wind –

It blows – not 24/7, but close enough. And when the wind is strong enough in the Village to carry away small animals, it often is dead calm in the BigTown. Something about how our Village sits in its valley funnels gale-force winds through our environs. I swear the snow grains we saw last week actually had made the 300 mile trip down from the BigTempleCity to the north.

6. Phone books –

Way too many yellow page books appear on our front porch. And not one of them has a complete listing on any service or type of store or is arranged in any discernible order. The best use I have found for them so far is as a booster seat for Pi.

7. Lack of public information –

Information about upcoming events is hard to come by. Forget seeing advance notice of events in the local rag. The assumption appears to be that everyone already knows about such things. Even stores frequently don’t include their address or location in their ads – the most they say might be “on the Boulevard” or some similar non-informative phrase. I guess if you need to know about something, you already know; and if you don’t need to know, you aren’t going to know.

8. Recycling –

For the most part, it doesn’t happen here. Many people are not just indifferent to the concept, they are vocally and aggressively hostile to it. Those of us who have lived in other states accept and embrace recycling – including curbside pickup and other forms of reusing our trash and saving landfill space. People here just come unglued at the suggestion of such things and accuse supporters of trying to “make money off us.” Strange.

9. Lack of good produce –

We lived in Southern California for so many years that we took the availability and affordability of good produce as a given. Not so here. It is expensive and bad. Costco has the best produce around, but GolfGuy and I have trouble getting through crates of oranges and 5 lb. bags of salad, etc.

10. “Oh my heck!” –

This commonly used euphemism for an expletive just GRATES on me. I have even heard news anchors in the BigTempleCity use it on air. The constant use of “darling” and “cute” to describe anything and everything bugs me greatly. I am 66 years old – I am NOT cute or darling – and I don’t like to be referred to in those terms.

Family, blue skies and red rocks and other things (see last week’s TTT posting) compensate for these minor grievances. So no more grousing – at least for now.

Another day, another hole?

Nope, not yet. My hole digging crew was supposed to show up last evening – just as they were on Sunday evening – to dig a hole for the luscious pink jasmine I had to buy at Costco on Friday. As soon as we walked in the door, the alluring aroma grabbed me by the nose and dragged me to the back of the warehouse where a whole gaggle of gorgeous jasmine were waiting to jump into carts and turn bystanders heads as they paraded throughout the store.

However, the wind has been HOWLING for days and days, making outside work beyond uncomfortable. There have been a few days here and there when it calmed down, but then it would pick right back up and have another go at us. Sunday evening, the portable basketball goal that lives by the side of the Igor family driveway did a full face plant across the drive. Fortunately at the time, their Fix Or Repair Daily van was shivering in Mamie’s drive while the family was inside eating dinner. Otherwise, the sad van would have had a very large crease in its head to go along with its other woes.

Hopefully today the wind will go down and the temperature up, and the hole will get dug.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Cool Thing

I just discovered a very cool option available for blogs. You will now see an envelope with an arrow on it at the bottom of each of my posts. Clicking on it brings up a form that you fill out and that particular blog post will be automatically emailed to your friend(s). Very cool.

Also, I finally figured out where to adjust the time stamp so now that god-awful time of 4:34 am won't show up - it will be the slightly better time of 5:34 am or whatever. After all, I am on Mountain time, not Pacific.

Broken Beagle

Mamie’s Beagle is broken. Not permanently – at least not this time around. But seriously enough that it necessitated an emergency run to the vet by Mamie, Beagle in arms.

Yesterday morning, my cell phone made the noise that announces that Mamie is calling. “Obviously you’re not at home!” “Nope, just got to Costco. What’s up?”

The story was that she had just gotten a call from GrandmaT saying that Scout had been out back and done something to his back again and was dragging his hind legs. Of course, Desert Vet was not in his office that day, but they did refer her to a vet in the BigTown. Mamie was on her way to the Village from her office in the BigTown to get Scout and return to the BigTown with him; and she wanted her Mom to go with her to the vet. Unfortunately, I was not available at the moment, so she had to go alone.

He has had this disc problem before, and there will be more occurrences until at some point surgery will be required. We’ll cross that bridge when it’s necessary.

Scout is doing much better today – although still gimping and moaning at times. He is very good about taking his pills – as long as cheese is involved.

First Lady Fashion

I feel compelled to put in my 2 cents worth on an issue that has been nagging at me since the inauguration in January of the new president.

The current first lady may have nicely toned arms, but her penchant for sporting sleeveless dresses in the dead of a Washington, D.C., winter is more than a bit disconcerting. As out of place as wearing white shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.

The most current former first lady needs to put on a pretty shell or blouse and leave the suit jackets unbuttoned. She looks much too up-tight and closed-in.

At least Barbara dresses age and appearance appropriately, but really not cutting edge. Hillary just manages the dreaded unflattering look. Roslyn was plain forgettable, in more ways than one.

What happened to the grace and elegance and STYLE of Jackie and Nancy?

I fully realized that this fashion critique comes from a woman whose wardrobe consists basically of jeans and tees. Well, hey, most drama critics can’t act either.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Winter Classes for Men

GolfGuy received this as an email from one of his golf buddies. Thought it was worth sharing.

Winter Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTRE

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM , 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials..
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM , location to be determined.


Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat,

and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day!

Printer Purchase

I am of two minds regarding the recent purchase of a printer from Costco.

On one hand, I am pleased that I was able to buy just what I wanted for only $108 using a coupon from the latest Costco coupon book. It prints, copies and scans – exactly what I need. I do not need a gazllion ppm or a gazillion dpi’s. I simply need a good, reliable printer that does what I want, when I want, and without a lot of backtalk. I am a happy camper on that point.

On the other hand, I am aghast that I just spent $130 (after using another coupon) on replacement ink cartridges for my $108 printer. Of course I know that the manufacturers really have you by the short hairs when it comes to printer consumables – that is where the money is made after all. But the realty does hit hard.

However, as I pointed out to GolfGuy, I could have spent $200 or $250 or more on a printer and still paid $130+ for ink.

Pizza Joy

Oh joy! We discovered that the food court at our Costco which has been closed for several weeks for re-modeling and was not scheduled to re-open until the end of the month was back in business today.

Our routine has been that when we enter Costco, GolfGuy splits off to the food court to purchase cold, delicious fountain Diet Cokes for us to sip while we wander (and refill before exiting for the trip home). Meanwhile, I head for the book department to see if they have possibly put out any new and interesting paperbacks – can’t afford hardbacks - that we haven’t already purchased. Eventually GolfGuy joins me, and we continue our shopping while enjoying the cold, delicious, fountain Diet Cokes.

The Diet Coke deprivation was serious, but there is yet more to this tale of woe.

Every few weeks, GolfGuy also orders 3 whole large pepperoni pizzas from the food court for us to pick up on our way out. Once home, I divvy the pizzas up into Ziploc bags – 2 slices per bag – and stash them in the freezer. Then when the pizza-bug hits or we need a quick lunch, we turn the oven on to 350, retrieve 2 bags from the freezer, put the slices on a cookie sheet and shove the whole thing into the oven for 15 minutes. Pure taste bliss! Much better than any delivery or take-out pizza or frozen cardboard from the grocery store – and absolutely the best price.

Sadly, when the food court shut down, albeit temporarily, we were not prepared. Our freezer stash became completely depleted, and we were pizza-less for a period of time. We do realize that Costco has take and bake versions available in the deli area; but they are NOT the same, and we are hopelessly stuck on the food court pizzas. Thank goodness we were able to replenish our supply today.

The rotisserie chicken production area has also been closed for remodeling during this time. While we miss the chicken, it is not a necessity like the pizza. We made do with a roasted chicken from the local grocery the other evening. It was convenient and filled an immediate need, but it certainly wasn’t on a par with a Costco rotisserie chicken.

As I was bagging up today’s haul, I held back 4 slices for today’s lunch. Pizza-joy is once again with us.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Funny Memory

Today as we entered the on-ramp after visiting the home improvement store (boooring), GolfGuy and I spotted a hitchhiker by the side of the road. A sight so rarely seen here that we commented on it. GolfGuy remarked that at least he was on the right ramp.

That made us remember when we were staying at an RV park in Oregon for an extended period and for TWO days a young, slightly disheveled couple stood at the bottom of the OFF ramp at our exit from I-5, thumbs stuck out. Each time we saw them, we commented “They really should be over on the ON ramp if they seriously expect to get a ride” and laughed heartily. Finally, on the third day they moved over to the on ramp and were soon on their way. Some kind soul, not us, must have suggested the move to them because it obviously had not occurred to them.

Today’s sighting and shared memory once again caused us to chuckle and shake our heads about some people.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

DWTS, Wk 3 results

Wow! Was I ever wrong! Jackass and Woz didn't even make the bottom 2. Shows what that vast mass of male adolescents with the quick thumbs on the cell phone can do.

Of course, Denise had to go sometime soon, but I really thought Blond Bunny Bimbo would be the one.

Next week, 2 "stars" get booted. Hopefully, they include any 2 of the 3 - Jackass, Woz or BBB.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Planting Bushes As A Family Activity

Last evening, Mamie, Igor, Bubby and Pi came over to dig holes and plant the 2 mock orange bushes I had purchased on the last nursery run with Mamie. Neither GolfGuy nor I are in the physical shape needed to deal with our rocks and hard ground.

Igor dug. Mamie de-potted and situated. Bubby and Pi mixed dirt and compost and filled in the holes. GolfGuy and I supervised. All went well until the last little bit of watering when Bubby and Pi nearly came to blows over manning the nozzle. Mamie took charge in her best teacher voice and manner and soon had the situation well in hand.

There ARE advantages to playing the old and decrepit card on occasion.

DWTS, Wk 3

Some quick thoughts on last night's offerings:

Jackass & Woz - both deserve the boot tonight; I'm not picky which one gets it first.

BBB - she's pushing Jackass & Woz for worst performer, but biggest whinner trophy is hers alone.

Cute Cowboy - vastly improved; looked great in dress clothes (cleans up nicely), but probably just as good in bull-busting duds.

LT - finally showed some moves; not yet up to level of previous NFL participants.

Yummo G, Melissa (Cheerleader), and GMW - holding steady in win, place and show positions.

Ten Things Tuesday, My Edition

Mrs. Chili of The Blue Door, http://theinnerdoor.wordpress.com/, seems to have started the Ten Things Tuesday lists. Thinking it a splendid idea – a useful filler when the creative well runs dry – I am joining in. So here goes.

Ten Things I Like About Our Little Corner of the World

1. Family –


I am so grateful to be able to spend this time with my children and their families. As I mentioned before, Mamie and Igor have both matured into wonderful people – but the silly sibling squabbles they still indulge in (purposely, I suspect) give me a special, secret pleasure. It has been deeply satisfying to be involved with my grandkids. They are, naturally, the cutest things around. Bubby is your basic All-American boy, right down to the dusting of freckles across his nose; he is easy-going and laid back. Pi is 5 going on 20, a true in-your-face diva, and totally fearless. Mrs. Igor, Grandma T, MamiesMan, the many and various pets – along with friends - add greatly to the richness of our life here. First and foremost, of course, is GolfGuy – without his agreement to move here, who knows where I would be. Thank you each and every one.

2. Blue skies and red rocks and gray rocks and yellow rocks, brown, black, all colors of rocks -

The visual goodies are many and varied. I have 2 favorites, currently, that I watch for on the trip back from the BigTown. One is to the west of I-15 just before our exit (Mamie likes it that HER exit points the way to Zion and Grand Canyon National parks and Lake Powell) – it is a grouping of roundy mounds of red rock, pocked with intriguing holes, all very giggly-looking. The other comes into view as the state highway begins the long downhill slide past Purgatory – makes me think of giant ocean waves forever frozen in mid-roll. The play of light on the various formations constantly shifts and changes as the seasons progress and the sun moves across the sky, highlighting something new every time and every direction I look.

3. The cleanliness and lack of graffiti –

Rarely do we see trash on the streets and highways and even more rarely does graffiti rear its ugly head. A trip south to SinCity is a stark reminder of what we don’t have to put up with. But it will come – the locals don’t realize it yet, but when the economy begins to pick up steam and the in-migration to the area explodes anew, these unhappy problems of population growth will deeply affect all of our quality of life.

4. The availability and quality of medical care –

Given my recent history, need I say more? And now that it seems to be GolfGuy’s turn in the box for health issues, this high level of medical care assumes added importance.

5. Mountain time zone –

I like my evening news at 5 pm and the late news at 9 pm or even 10 pm and DWTS at 7 pm. How do people in the Eastern Time zone ever see the end of Sunday or Monday Night Football? I would be zonked out by half time. After over 30 years in the Pacific Time zone, Mountain Time took some adjusting on our part. Now it is “normal” and other time zones feel strange.

6. Purgatory –

The county jail has an official name, “Purgatory”. How great is that? And the green and white striped clad work gangs from there are largely responsible for the clean state of the local highways. Purgatory is located next to the county fairgrounds – don’t know if there is any significance in that.

7. The Village 4th of July celebration –

Small town and corny, but it does make my heart go pitty-pat, especially the grand finale of the fireworks display, following the always overly-long softball game against the neighboring village. And all the other local area parades – St. Pat’s Day, Peach Days, Pioneer Days, etc. – where junior and senior high school bands straggle along, local politicians shamelessly campaign, horses clop and poop, fire engines scream their horns, flags wave in the ever present wind, and piles and piles of wrapped candies are pitched to the swarming children. The very bestest part is enjoying it all in the company of my family.

8.Street numbering system –

100 North for the first street north from some fixed point, 100 South for the first street south, and so forth for East and West, progressively increasing as you move farther away from the starting point. When Mamie first told me about it, I thought it was section line numbers (shows my Kansas background) but she explained it to me later when she found out the system. Once you get the hang of it, it makes a weird kind of sense for an address to be 1900 West 600 North.

9. Use of “tending” for babysitting –

People here don’t say, “I’m babysitting kids tonight’; it’s “I’m tending kids tonight”. Somehow, “to tend” seems more apt than “to babysit”. All areas have their “localisms” – e.g., in Oregon, “costy” for “pricey”; in the Midwest, “pop” while the West Coast says “soda”; you stand “on line” in the east but “in line” elsewhere. “Tending” just particularly tickles my fancy.

10. The local Jack in the Box –

Back when I was making daily trips to the Big Town for various medical procedures, I got into the habit of pulling into a local Jack in the Box for a cold, delicious, fountain Diet Coke as a treat for the trip home. The nice young man who was frequently on duty when I made my stops soon came to recognize me, and we had many friendly little chats. A warm, human touch I needed at that particular time. The trips, for all reasons, have decreased to one or two a week, but GolfGuy and I continue the habit. If we are flying solo, we purchase a second one for the partner at home.

Some of the above items are the same old, same old; but I did try to come up with examples that are unique to here. It’s these little things that make any area special; and we need to occasionally remind ourselves of what makes life good.

I have drafted several different Ten Things lists. While the first few items leap readily to mind, I am finding it can be a challenge to come up with 10 for each. The process prompts me to really stop and think about the topic at hand. Try it – you’ll find it worth your time.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Projects

I have projects lined up, ready to take off like planes on the taxiway at LAX. Some I have actually started and then put aside for whatever caught my fancy for a time. Others are busily churning in my mind – I spent the hour at Silver Sneakers exercise class, while huffing and puffing along, plotting blog posts and planning the latest plastic canvas project that popped into my head early this morning. Others remain glimmers in the back of my mind – waiting for the chance to catch me unaware and demand attention.

Recently, the needlework projects have been shoved to the back of the line by the blog – and my new obsession with hidden-object computer games (one that is shared and aided and abetted by GolfGuy). This new design idea has really sparked my interest tho, and I am anxious to see if I can get it worked out. So, there is a new #1 in line, and I am off to see what I can do about it.

Rock Chips

Last Friday afternoon, we were returning home from the BigTown after some errands and lunch. We were tooling along the Interstate, checking out the construction on the new northbound lane when there was a loud “CRACK!” and before our pissed-off eyes suddenly appeared a chip in the windshield. Oh shit! This isn’t your everyday little chip; it is a quarter size crater with a little buddy chip a few inches away.

When GolfGuy called the insurance company once we got home, he told the rep he was “reporting in from the Rock Chip Capitol of the World.” Sad, but true. In the 4½ years that we have been here, Mamie is already on her 4th windshield – and that one has a recently repaired rock chip. The Igor family has also been through several windshields and/or repairs. The windshield on GolfGuy’s car had to be replaced just a few months ago. There are probably more such occurrences just in our family, but I can’t bring them to mind at the moment.

We were in my Rav4 because it is easier to load and unload the cases of water and other such items from Costco than from GolfGuy’s fancy-schmancy Camry. I feel really sad when my beloved Rav4 is injured, and I am relieved that the fixer guy is coming today to make it better.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Lilac

Hooray! The lilac bush that Mamie and Mrs. Igor gave me last Mother’s Day and Mrs. Igor planted has burst fully into bloom – no more hints of the beauty to come, it has arrived. When I walked into the kitchen just now, it jumped up and grabbed my attention as I glanced out the window. A quick trip out back verified that, yes indeed, it does smell most delightfully like lilac.

Cozies & Coasters

Mamie informed me yesterday that the Igor Family is down to 2 coasters and they are feeling very neglected by the Coaster Lady – that would be me.

After trying my hand at many different crafty activities over the years with results ranging from merely mediocre to really bad, I came across the “art” of doing needlepoint-type stitching on a base of plastic canvas. As they say, the rest is history.

My main output consists of Kleenex Cozies (known as tissue box covers in the polite world) and coasters, with napkin rings a distant third. Over the years I have made dozens and dozens of each. I have matching cozies and coasters for all holidays and seasons and moods – at least 8 cozies for Christmas alone. Mamie and the Igors have been inundated with examples of my work.

Shortly after Pi* was born, Mamie and I drove back to Kansas to visit the happy family. We spent most of the week burrowed in at Grammie’s house sewing Humpty dolls for Mrs. Igor, Bubby and Pi to go with the one Igor had (Grammie made a Humpty for each of her grandchildren when they were small – these remain treasured possessions). When we returned home, I designed and made cozies to match the fabric in Bubby’s and Pi’s Humptys and that also incorporated their names. Special Christmas cozies for each followed and on and on…

Several years ago, I was working on drawing a design for a plastic bag holder – it was to be a large piece, with lots of flowers, etc. I was laboring the old fashioned way – graph paper and colored pencils – and getting so frustrated I couldn’t see straight. One screw-up and the whole thing was toast, and I had to start over. GolfGuy couldn’t take it any longer and went online and found a software program for me that lets you work out your patterns easy as can be. Bless you, GolfGuy; the program has been a god-send to me – and saved both our sanities.

*references to Grandson and Granddaughter have morphed into “Bubby” and “Pi”. Not only are Grandson and Granddaughter waaay too many keystrokes for my impatient and clumsy fingers, but I don’t think of them in those terms. So Bubby and Pi it will be.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Darn Cat!

Snickers, my big grumpy mostly Maine Coon cat, just knocked the remains of my cold, delicious fountain Diet Coke from Maverick off the kitchen counter. Naturally, the lid came off.

Both cats found the cleaning up utterly fascinating to observe. I noticed that neither one offered any assistance - nor has Snickers said why he was on the counter in the first place. Maybe 'cuz he knows that's verboten.

Word use

Our local paper is beyond bad, and the readers who write in contribute greatly to that badness by displaying their ignorance of grammar and proper sentence construction.

This morning's version of "The Vent" - a regular Saturday feature wherein readers can submit letters without signing their names - really got me hopping.

The writer starts out with "It's a sunny Sunday afternoon as I 'set'on my patio..." That is followed by "As I 'have sit' here..." And that's just the first 2 sentences!

Arrgh! And double Arrgh!

Left laundry

When I went into the laundry room this morning to scoop the cats’ litter box that resides there, I noticed the little green light on my spiffy front loader that indicates a “freshly” washed load to be removed. Only it wasn’t so fresh – having been put thru its paces at some point yesterday. I just hate it when I let laundry languish for any length of time in either the washer or dryer. It is most annoying to try to put in a new load only to discover the old load still hanging out in there.

Ever since we went thru the toss-up and re-arranging of rooms last summer, I spend most of my time (too much probably) in a room somewhat far removed from the laundry room. I cannot hear the end-of-cycle buzzers – even the washer’s which is particularly loud and persistent. Thus, the left laundry and one more daily gripe.

GolfGuy

GolfGuy LOVES golf. Duh! He eats, breathes, and sleeps golf. Not only does he recount in detail his rounds of golf to me, I am treated to re-hashes of the many golf matches he watches on TV. One of the reasons we have 2 DVR’s is the conflicts we were having over who got to record what, when – I honestly felt my SVU and Bones re-runs had priority over obscure golf tournaments. He begged to differ – thus 2 DVR’s to serve the 4 TV’s.

Prior to retirement, he entertained visions of the 2 of us merrily making the rounds of golf courses across the country. To that end, he persuaded me to take some golf lessons. Frankly, I hated it. Not only did I have problems getting all the body parts to play nicely together, the thick fog of testosterone swirling around the golf environment raised my hackles. More importantly, I knew that I lacked the commitment to the game that would be required in order to become even marginally competent at it – necessary for even the lowest level of enjoyment.

The notion of happy, harmonious couple-golf went by the wayside after several joint ventures. I realized that if we continued to try this endeavor I would be forced to inflict serious bodily injury on poor GolfGuy by the 8th or 9th hole, minimum. He really tried to NOT tell me what to do or how to do it; but he just couldn’t help himself, I was so bad and he so wanted me to be good. Case in point –a few years ago, we were staying at an RV park that had a “putting” course for guests. Needing to get out of the confines of the tin-can for a bit and it being a nice evening, I thought a companionable stroll around the putting course would be a good way to spend some time. Wrong. He just couldn’t resist trying to tell me how to line up my putts or how hard to hit the ball. It was a COW PASTURE , for god’s sake. How much technique could you use? Just aim in the general direction, whack the snot out of the ball, and hope for the best. If this was what a REAL round of golf together would be like, count me out.

One of the deciding factors for settling in the Village (other than the proximity of the family) was the abundance of golf courses in the area. GolfGuy was a happy man – 3 or 4 rounds a week at reasonable prices. I was a happy woman – no lunch duty 3 or 4 times a week. Life was good.

But as happens in life, things started to fall apart. In the last 6-9 months, GolfGuy’s playing has been severely hampered by a series of physical issues. First it was calcium deposits on his heels – some physical therapy and the purchase of orthotic devices for his shoes helped ease that problem. Then his right elbow begin bothering him, eventually to the point of causing extreme pain every time he swung a driver or a fairway club – he could still chip and putt without much pain, but the course marshals would really be on his case for slow play if he tried to chip and putt his way around the course. Physical therapy and cortisone shots did not take care of the pain, so surgery was done to scrape the bone spurs off his elbow. Recovery is proceeding slowly – once a week or so he goes over to the course and hits balls, and he’s up to 6 or 7 before he has to stop.

It has been 4 or 5 months since he’s been on the course for a round. He misses golf and the friends he was developing at the courses and his “me time”. It has been rough for both of us for him to be basically confined to the house and my sometimes cranky company. But we’ll get through this; and if the other health issues that have cropped up recently keep him out of golf action, we’ll just have to come up with some other outlet for him.

Friday, March 20, 2009

newWalmart

First impressions, some good and some bad, from my first – but not last – trip to newWalmart.

It’s a LOT smaller than oldWalmart (or even otherWalmart on the south side of the BigTown) – I seem to recall that when the plans came up for approval before our all-knowing and ever-wise Village council, they decreed that the square footage had to be decreased for reasons known only to the anointed ones. Perhaps I disremember, tho.

It still smells “new” – like a new car or new house. THAT will change in a hurry.

It was very quiet at 9:30 in the morning – almost echoey.

The layout is very different from any other Walmart I’ve been in and will take some getting used to. But I think I will like it; the departments we visit the most – pharmacy, personal care items, pet supplies, cleaning supplies, and groceries - are all at the same end of the store. No more long hikes back and forth.

It is 5 minutes travel time, there or back. No need to haul along a cooler, as we have had to do in sizzling summer when temperatures stay over 110 for weeks on end here. Some years ago, when we all lived in north San Diego county, climatic wonderland of the world, my late mother INSISTED on loading a cooler with frozen water bottles into her vehicle for each and every trip to the grocery store. Good heavens, the temperature rarely got over 75 and no return trip home was more than 15 minutes. Oh how we mocked and teased behind her back! But, guess what folks? That is the very cooler we have been using here! Mother was right, as usual.

The selection of goods is not as wide or varied as we are accustomed to. The fabric and craft department was a major disappointment.

No self-check lines – now it is the checker who is misloading the bags; GolfGuy is off the hook on that one.

GolfGuy thinks some of the prices are higher than at oldWalmart. How can that be? I don’t know if they are or not – I don’t remember numbers like GolfGuy does; he’s a whiz at that.

The cart return areas are few and far between – what a nuisance!

The parking lot is smallish – but there is room for expansion.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Grocery Shopping

For over 30 years I managed to do the grocery shopping for this family (and for 14 years in our first family life) – and mostly ALL BY MYSELF. Sometimes I did have to drag children with me, but that was mostly disastrous, so I tried to avoid it at all costs. When Mamie and Igor were in the obnoxious pre- and teen years, I would gather my list, coupons, purse and keys and announce, “I am going to the store. I’ll be back shortly.” Their standard response was, “Well, you sure won’t be back TALL-Y” heh-heh-heh. Yes, it’s true I am a squatty Wombat; but it was the snottily gleeful tone of voice from my loving children that really made smoke come out of my ears. And by the way, that word “squatty” is a top contender for #1 on my list of ugly words. Hmm….an idea for a Ten Things Tuesday list. Anyway, nobody seriously starved or went without as a result of my solo shopping.

The point of all this is that now that GolfGuy is accompanying me, I suddenly do not seem to know what I am doing. (Did I suffer some sort of brain cramp nobody told me about?) My choices are constantly second guessed. And unplanned items keep mysteriously jumping into the shopping cart – he’s worse than the kids ever were about that; and it encourages ME to toss in impulse items. I seem to be lacking some self-restraint here.

We generally go through the self-check line. No matter how hard I try to keep things sorted as to what goes in the pantry, the refrigerator/freezer, the laundry room, or back to the bathroom, he tosses items into bags willy-nilly. ALL the canned goods into the same bags; ditto all other heavy objects – no weight balancing for him! During the months of medical treatment when my participation in the shopping activity was limited to leaning on the cart as I shuffled thru the store, indicating which items to grab, GolfGuy did the scanning, bagging, car loading and toting into the house. A practice that continues to this day (I’m not totally stupid – those tasks are WORK). Once the bags are actually in the house, I do sort things out and put them away – otherwise we would NEVER find anything.

I see other couples in the store – wandering closely together, sometimes holding hands, seemingly in harmony on what they’re doing. Meanwhile, we seem to be engaged in a titanic test of wills. Could it be that we are both control freaks and actually deserve each other?

In fairness, I am just as big a pain in the butt when I accompany GolfGuy to a home improvement or electronics store. I can gaze at bins of sprinkler fittings or piles of some electronic thingie for only so long before my eyes glaze over and start to roll back in my head and I go into whiney toddler mode.

Spring, part 2

When I went out to retrieve the papers this morning, I discovered some new little purple flowers by the big red rock. Haven't the foggiest what they are - but they sure are cute.

The surprises of spring - helps to be entering the stage of life when the memory is not what it once was.

Ahhhh...Spring

I have learned that spring is arriving in our Village when the sounds of lawnmowers grumble through the air. Wintertime rarely brings the scrape of shovels against cement – the few inches of snow that fall 2 or 3 times a winter generally melt fairly rapidly. But the grass does go dormant and the warmer weather wakes it up.

My front yard daffodils have bloomed and finished. The low-growing little purple flowers by the big rock are over – don’t know what they are as I foolishly pitched the packaging after planting the brown, mushroom-y things. The backyard daffodils – the ones that bothered to bloom – are winding down. The purple flowers that look like miniature Dutch iris have come and gone. But the hyacinths are out in full glory and smell delicious. The full size Dutch iris sent up their leaves really early – or so it seems to me – and thus got treated to several of our snows. I have hope that they will bloom – last year they came on after all the other bulb flowers were long gone and were glorious to see. Mamie and I have started checking the nursery ads weekly for good deals – if it’s not on sale, we try not to buy it.

As an aside – in the fall of ’07 I purchased a number of bulbs but hadn’t gotten around to planting them before being hit by the dreaded ”C” word. Early on, I asked one of my wonderful doctors if I should bother to plant my spring bulbs. He replied, “But of course. You will be around to enjoy them for many years.” That was certainly an attitude adjusting moment for me. Mrs. Igor came over and helped GolfGuy prepare the area, and I managed to get the bulbs in the ground. Their flowers have truly been a joy to me last spring and this year.

As the air continues to warm, I anxiously await the annual parade of puffballs – Gambel’s Quail chicks – across the backyard to sample and scratch at the seed flung on the ground from the birdfeeder by the other birds. I make sure that I scatter extra seed as well, and I put out small saucers of water for them. The proud parents have a bit of struggle trying to keep them together as the little devils tend to scurry about in all directions. Like human chicks, they grow up much too quickly and leave the nest before we are ready to see them go.

It has been in my mind for several days now that it is about time to pack away the flannel jammie pants and haul out the light weight cotton ones. Oversize cotton tees for the top work well year round. The winter robe is about to be put away in favor of a lighter one. Soon I will switch the bedspreads and bath towels to the “summer ones.”

Flip flops and pedicures. When I start thinking about heading into the nail salon, I know warm weather is on us. My feet border on ugly, but a good spa pedicure makes me feel that they are basically presentable. I have a nice selection of flip flops that I live in from April/May to September. Altho, last year my physical therapist was NOT impressed with them – but he was kinda creepy and I was soon done with him so who cares what he thinks anyway.

Ah, spring IS definitely in the air and I am more than ready.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Oh Happy Day!

The shiny new SuperWalmart in our Village opens today. And it’s less than a mile from our house! No more 26 mile round trips to the Big Town “megalopolis” for our weekly grocery and sundry shopping. We have a perfectly nice local grocery store a couple of miles away in the Village, but their prices do tend to be quite a bit higher. However, I won’t completely abandon them. I really admire their community involvement and practice of hiring handicapped people of all stripes . Plus some of their weekly specials make the trip more than worthwhile (happens to be Diet Coke this week, a basic necessity at our house) – as long as we stick to those items. And they are right next to the Post Office and conveniently on my way home from Silver Sneakers exercise class – whereas newWalmart is the other way down the highway.

Speaking of the other way – it is a right turn onto the highway to get to newWalmart, but would be a left turn onto the highway to return home. I don’t do unprotected left turns onto this highway if I can help it as local drivers tend to drive like the proverbial bats out of hell while talking on cell phones and/or trying to control unrestrained hordes of children in the vehicle. I figure the fewer opportunities, the better my odds of not getting smooshed. I was planning on returning via the “back road”, which is what I use to get to Mamie’s or Igor’s houses. But, lo and behold, the powers-that-be are actually putting a traffic signal at that intersection – and it should be operational today, or shortly thereafter. I haven’t been up that way yet ‘cuz I don’t do the grand opening scene – tomorrow will be soon enough.

Mamie was highly incensed when the plans were first announced – it IS located on HER corner (where she turns off the highway to her house, at least ½ mile away). She railed long and loudly and often about increased traffic, noise, blah, blah, blah… She was convinced she would be able to see the parking lot lights at night from her backyard – in spite of the distance and the existence of hills and houses in-between. Granted you CAN catch glimpses of the building, if you know what you are looking for, as you traverse the back road to her house and the sight-lines thru the hills change. Now she is anticipating the opening as eagerly as the rest of us, saying she could walk there if she wanted and Grandma T (who lives with her) could ride her “tricycle” there.

Today is the big day, at last, and we shall see how things unfold.

DWTS, Wk 2 Results

I was wrong - I was sure Jackass would be in the lame dance-off with Woz. Oh well, Blimp-linda was destined to go at some point. But was it really necessary to have us watch the BOTTOM TWO COUPLES dance 3 times?

Loved the big band number - THAT'S my kind of music. You know - rhythm, melody, harmony, words that make sense - all the good stuff.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

DWTS, Wk 2

What, were they all sandbagging last week? Amazing improvement for most.

Woz didn’t look quite so silly and Telly tubbish.

Whoa! The Cowboy looks darn cute when he smiles – guess there’s not much of that goin’ on when clinging to the back of a bucking beast – and he actually got his feet off the floor this time.

BlondBunnyBimbo dropped a couple of notches and should soon be gone.

Sorry, but Belinda What’s-Her-Face still resembles a lead blimp lumbering around the floor.

Julianne (my former fav pro) and her CW squeeze were even more disappointing this week than last.

Lil Kim and her pro Derek (isn’t he cutest kid?) were surprisingly good – and I am predisposed against rap noise (refuse to call it music) and those who foist it off on the rest of us.

Didn’t mean to leave out Lawrence Taylor last time – guess the absence of personality (other than surly) didn’t bring him to mind. To paraphrase, he’s no Jerry Rice…or Emmett Smith…or Jason Taylor (Mr. Smooth & Elegant)…or Warren Sapp (wasn’t he an absolute hoot? Loved his total joy in what he was doing). LT did manage some facial expressions this week and his dancing wasn’t bad.

The biggest improvement was the absence of a live appearance by the Jackass.

The money bet is still on Melissa or Gilles.

March Madness

Last evening during dinner, GolfGuy and I were discussing the upcoming NCAA basketball tournament, the brackets, the seedings, and so forth. We both have some BB in our backgrounds - he played it in high school as did at least 2 of his 4 brothers and I was at Kansas State during the time of Tex Winter and the triple-post offense and BB was the big deal as K-State football was so freakin' lousy at that time. So we both tend to associate skill and strategy with the game -but no technque involved nowadays as the mass of huge, overpaid thugs thunders up and down the court, pushing and shoving and slamming the ball at the basket. Thus, we don't watch or follow pro or college versions - except at March Madness time when we search out the least likely, biggest underdog team/school to root for.

GolfGuy mentioned an article he had read that morning in the SinCity paper concerning the fact that surgeons say March Madness time is the busiest period of the year for vasectomies! Seems all the 20 and 30 something arrested-adoloescent-development males all the wretched beer commercials (Budweiser horses exempted from wretchedness) are so fond of have discovered that the 2-3 day recovery period from the procedure is the perfect excuse to miss work, etc. and vege out on BB. As one such prime example put it, "Sure beats watching Oprah all day."

Monday, March 16, 2009

DWTS

I must confess – I am a huge, huge fan of Dancing With The Stars. The show does border on being cheesy – or even pornographic with some of the moves and outfits – but there is something about it that just reaches out and grabs me. I eagerly await the start of each new season and check and double-check that both DVR’s are set to record it (yes, we have 2 DVR’S – gross extravagance you say? Of course!) The first few seasons I voted like a crazy person – my cell phone, GolfGuy’s cell phone (he did get tacky about that when he wanted to vote for someone else), the house phone, on-line – any and every way I could. The fall and winter of 2007-08 I was in a semi-comatose state and couldn’t summon up the energy to frantically dial and re-dial, so I fell out of the habit and haven’t picked it up again.

The fall season of DWTS does present a conflict as the booby network that gave up Monday Night Football chooses to put DWTS on opposite MNF. Football is the only thing that bumps DWTS. So I make sure the DVR is set (so simple even I can do it) and then I am careful to watch before the results show. But that does mean that voting, other than on-line, doesn’t happen – reinforcing my laziness.

My take on the first show of the spring season follows:
Woz wasn’t just bad – he was AWFUL! Now the Cowboy (Jewel’s husband) while kind of cute was just plain bad. As for Belinda What’s-her-face – the comparison to Cloris Leachman, from last season, was quite apt. The Jackass was – well, a jackass. Gilles will be one of the finalists, if not the winner. He was on KTLA the next morning – YUMMO! The 16 year-old Gold Medal Gymnast was quite good – but I hate to see a 16-year old looking and being dressed so maturely – even a GMG. The real surprise was Melissa, the reject/ditchee from Bachelor – she was elegant and lovely to watch and with only 2 days practice. Much better than the Blond Bunny Bimbo – who had a whole week of practice. Altho, the BBB does have the best legs seen on the show since the female wrestler from about season 2. The rest of the pack was… the rest of the pack – not very memorable, just filler.

The whole group has the opportunity to change my thinking tonight – and yes, they are dancing JUST for me…aren’t they? Stay tuned.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Hello

Yes, I know the title of the blog is from the old tired joke about, “I married him for better or worse; BUT NOT FOR LUNCH!” Actually, that was the point. Now that we are retired – not newly as it has been 5 years – the joke makes perfect sense to me. This lunch business drives me nutso! When it was just me at home, I could eat lunch or not, eat whatever strange thing I craved, or if I was deep in some project, just grab whatever was handiest. Now I dread hearing that piteous voice asking, “What are we doing for lunch?” My gut reaction is “Eating it”, but knowing that my sarcasm is not well received, I usually manage to reply, “What would you like?” Not only do I dislike having to prepare the stupid meal, I dislike even more trying to think of WHAT to fix. Once in a while, I can outlast him and he will manage to come up with something. Or sometimes I can get by with, “You’re on your own today.” Honestly, tho, he is a jewel about cooking dinner – which he is quite good at – if I want him to. And when I was going through the rough times with chemo and radiation, he was positively saintly about fixing meals – as well as doing other housework.

My former mother-in-law, Grammie (see Mamie’s blog, http://www.mamieutah.blogspot.com/), used to fix lunch EVERY day for her husband and 3 boys! And not soup and a sandwich or nuked frozen burritos (right, that wasn’t invented then). It was a full blown meal – salad, meat, potatoes, vegetable, rolls (homemade, of course) and dessert (again, homemade). Then she did it all over again for supper (dinner for those of you not from the Heartland). And she did all the kitchen cleanup – woman’s work, you know. The woman was never out of the kitchen! Of course, for most of those years she did have household help 2 full days a week.

Now that I have vented about the lunch thing – and I do feel much better for having done so, thank you – let me introduce the main cast of characters I will be referring to. The names in parentheses are the ones used in the aforementioned Mamie’s blog – had to change some to suit the circumstances. Wombat, that’s me (won’t catch ME doing “mommy blog”); GolfGuy, my husband (GolfDad); Mamie, my daughter; MamiesMan (DarlingMan – can’t bring myself to use THAT); Igor, my son; Mrs. Igor, his wife; Grandson and Granddaughter (Nephew and Niece); GrandmaT, Mrs. Igor’s mom; Snickers and Pudge, our cats. Various other characters will wander in from time to time.

Through a somewhat strange and involved series of events, we all ended up in the southwest corner of Utah. We all live in the Village, close to the Big Town, and within a few minutes of each other. I love being so close to my grown children – ever since they flew off to college, we had been scattered over various parts of California and Kansas. They have grown to be well-adjusted (mostly), good, personable people. I am frequently complimented on my wonderful daughter/son, and my only response is “In spite of me, not because of me.”

Although I do have a tentative list of ideas for posts, I probably will be somewhat erratic in actually posting them. As anyone who has tried to correspond with me on a regular basis knows, I either flood you with ramblings or go ridiculously long periods with nary a word. Please don’t give up on me. Feel free to comment and suggest ideas for discussion.

If I actually do get this blog up and running, it will be one more thing crossed off my “Bucket List”. And if you haven’t seen this wonderful movie, rent it immediately.