GolfGuy

GolfGuy LOVES golf. Duh! He eats, breathes, and sleeps golf. Not only does he recount in detail his rounds of golf to me, I am treated to re-hashes of the many golf matches he watches on TV. One of the reasons we have 2 DVR’s is the conflicts we were having over who got to record what, when – I honestly felt my SVU and Bones re-runs had priority over obscure golf tournaments. He begged to differ – thus 2 DVR’s to serve the 4 TV’s.

Prior to retirement, he entertained visions of the 2 of us merrily making the rounds of golf courses across the country. To that end, he persuaded me to take some golf lessons. Frankly, I hated it. Not only did I have problems getting all the body parts to play nicely together, the thick fog of testosterone swirling around the golf environment raised my hackles. More importantly, I knew that I lacked the commitment to the game that would be required in order to become even marginally competent at it – necessary for even the lowest level of enjoyment.

The notion of happy, harmonious couple-golf went by the wayside after several joint ventures. I realized that if we continued to try this endeavor I would be forced to inflict serious bodily injury on poor GolfGuy by the 8th or 9th hole, minimum. He really tried to NOT tell me what to do or how to do it; but he just couldn’t help himself, I was so bad and he so wanted me to be good. Case in point –a few years ago, we were staying at an RV park that had a “putting” course for guests. Needing to get out of the confines of the tin-can for a bit and it being a nice evening, I thought a companionable stroll around the putting course would be a good way to spend some time. Wrong. He just couldn’t resist trying to tell me how to line up my putts or how hard to hit the ball. It was a COW PASTURE , for god’s sake. How much technique could you use? Just aim in the general direction, whack the snot out of the ball, and hope for the best. If this was what a REAL round of golf together would be like, count me out.

One of the deciding factors for settling in the Village (other than the proximity of the family) was the abundance of golf courses in the area. GolfGuy was a happy man – 3 or 4 rounds a week at reasonable prices. I was a happy woman – no lunch duty 3 or 4 times a week. Life was good.

But as happens in life, things started to fall apart. In the last 6-9 months, GolfGuy’s playing has been severely hampered by a series of physical issues. First it was calcium deposits on his heels – some physical therapy and the purchase of orthotic devices for his shoes helped ease that problem. Then his right elbow begin bothering him, eventually to the point of causing extreme pain every time he swung a driver or a fairway club – he could still chip and putt without much pain, but the course marshals would really be on his case for slow play if he tried to chip and putt his way around the course. Physical therapy and cortisone shots did not take care of the pain, so surgery was done to scrape the bone spurs off his elbow. Recovery is proceeding slowly – once a week or so he goes over to the course and hits balls, and he’s up to 6 or 7 before he has to stop.

It has been 4 or 5 months since he’s been on the course for a round. He misses golf and the friends he was developing at the courses and his “me time”. It has been rough for both of us for him to be basically confined to the house and my sometimes cranky company. But we’ll get through this; and if the other health issues that have cropped up recently keep him out of golf action, we’ll just have to come up with some other outlet for him.